Upstream

As I boldly walk against the current of a turning and flowing river of people, I look upon the water. Faces of every kind and shape lazily drift by me, their expression placid. I wade through the current. Blue eyes with tight blond curls, an Asian tourist with wide glasses and a wider camera lends, a mother clutching her wispy haired infant; thousands of people of every type, all slowly making their way around my defiant path. I choose my subjects carefully by a measure unknown even to myself, and then look into those passing soul’s eyes. I see the browns and grays and shimmering blues look from one distraction to another. Of all the captured inferences of these chosen ones’ eyes, snapshots of personalities and hearts more felt than seen, not a single entity peers back into me. The realization hits me as I widen my selection: I am unseen. That is why the trail I chose to wander is beset with so many obstacles of flesh and body constantly colliding with me without any apologies. I am invisible to these purposeful sojourners; tourist, consumers, lovers, and laborers. I stop dead in my movement, centered on the stream bed. Cameras flash and video silently hums from the corners of this parade; am I but a darken mist within these images?  I ponder this cloaking power I seem to possess; or is it a curse? More faces pass as more people course around my form; plump freckled cheeks framed by natural dark red, deep earthy swagger from bling encrusted shades, a near perfect obsidian haired angle; thousands of people of every type, all slowly twisting around my paused stance. Turning for a moment, I look to see where they are heading and can see nothing but more of the same path I’ve already walked. I turn once more to try and see where my journey should take me and find only a darken misty hall. Shall I join the river, a peaceful comma taking me down a predestined path? Should I remain still upon a rock jutting through this shallow water; simply watching the life of the world pass around my atoll? No, not for me… I will continue against the current; my mussels weeping with pain, my mind fatigued and delirious, and my invisible essence alone upon this chosen heading. While there maybe no reward laying for me in that misty cave of future, I will at least know who I am… and not what I’ve been told I should be.